Every so often, you meet someone who is unhappy in their marriage but afraid to leave because they fear losing their children. They don't want to stay married, but they're willing to stick it out to ensure that they're around the kids as much as possible. 

This type of tough situation raises a lot of questions. First and foremost, is the fear warranted? Are you really going to lose your kids in the divorce?

It's uncommon to lose total access or custody of your children in divorce

You can lose custody of your children, but the odds are heavily stacked against it. It's becoming less common all the time, and the default for the court is usually to split custody between both parents. 

The main reason that the court gives out sole custody is if one parent seems to present a danger to the children. They don't do it simply because your spouse asks for it. They don't care about your gender. You don't have to go to court, in most cases, and prove that you should see your children. Instead, it is on your ex to prove that you pose a risk and the kids wouldn't be safe in your care.

For the vast, vast majority of couples, this is not the case. There is no history of abuse, domestic violence or criminal activity. They're just an unhappy couple that is splitting up. If at all possible, the court strives to keep both parents involved in their children's lives as equally as possible.

Understanding your rights to custody and more

It's natural to be nervous about divorce, but you don't have to. Just work with an experienced law firm so that you can fully understand your rights. You can also rely on your attorney to protect those rights as you move forward.